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    Яαgιи Яαvєи
    Cairo, Egypt
    Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.
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Tapping at my chamber door

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I pray for '67

Be lazy. Be static. Do nothing. Easy answers to many questions that start with 'what are you gonna do about it?' You can plea a not guilty verdict and you can cry all sorts of cold salty tears, your very own crocodile tears. Well, newsflash: Crocodiles cannot cry; they lack tear ducts. However, crocodiles produce secretions to moisten their eyes if they are out of water for extended periods of time, hence those are not tears of guilt... they're survival tools. How long do you think your salty secretions can help you survive in the wild? How long do you think you'll be able to fool them all into believing that yeah you are pretty damn guiltfree, that you're sorry and helpless? How long can you hold on to your dark hiding place? How long will you be able to hide? Somehow, no matter how sorry you claim you are and how long the stream of your tears is, you seem pretty fucking guilty to me.

I've come across so many excuses lately, excuses for doing nothing. I'm sick of people who always manage to find a way out, to sit back and do nothing. Lately, I've been learning different excuse techniques, I've been listening closely, listing them all on paper, trying to figure out the way the human coward shit brain works. I've been marking my targets. It's funny actually; you can so tell, assuming you're ever going to live to be in a battlefield, who's gonna run and hide and claim that 'they didn't know', and who's gonna stick to their rifles and shoot the out-numbering army up ahead. I thought I should lay down a few excuses that I've come across lately regarding the Lebanese situation. Some are pretty original actually... so pick your own preference, but don’t you dare throw any in my face.

- A guy I know said that the Lebanese deserve what's happening to them; that the Lebanese in the northern part of the country are all partying, not giving a shit about what's going on in the south. It's a pretty lousy excuse if you ask me. When I confronted the guy whether he at least feels that all that is unfair he said 'I'd be the first one to enroll in the army if they ever sent troops there to fight back'. Yeeeeah well... I've listened to this shit so many times. RUN... Don't let me catch you off-guard. Your excuse shields aren't gonna protect you when the blood stream flows in your own neighborhood.

- I've heard another one about arguing with Israelis online about it... venting and blogging (pretty much what I'm doing right now) then claiming being all helpless. Claiming that you're not allowed to go to Lebanon to fight... Well, guess what... you are. Not direct flight though. However with the speed things are moving, I don't think we're gonna need to go anywhere to have our war.

- Play a card game at a café... Bring up the subject and enjoy hearing the one about pretending not to follow the news, raise their eyebrows and pouch in full distress and anger... and start throwing in a couple F words here and there, but then Nancy Ajram hits the screen and voilà... 'So whose turn is it?' they say.

- How about the ever-traditional excuse about the indisputable fact that most people around here have come up with that Arabs don't really like Egyptians, that if the same shit happened to us, they wouldn't move a muscle, so why should we. Well, give me one good reason why they should like us. Is it because we make them laugh? Hell, I'm not laughing, and they sure aren’t either. We're all in it together. We've fallen into the same dark and cold hole.

هذه هي معركة البقاء. العزة أو المذلة... و لك حرية الاختار. أمازلت تذكر معنى كلمة الحرية أصلا؟ ممكن تسكت و تشتغل و تبقى مدير كبير و تتزوج و يبقى عندك أولاد و تعيش حياة سعيدة.. ده شيء وارد... لكن حيكون ايه شعورك لما العالم يستهين بيك و ببلدك و دينك و جنسك... و اسمك؟ القوات الدولية تقترب...صار احتلال دولي... العالم كله حيدوس عليك...

- There's also the Silent Bob excuse.

- There are also the guys out there who sat back gloating, grinning and laughing and pointing fingers... and boy do our kind like to point fingers. They oversaw the fact that Lebanon is in ruins and that the people there are dying. They're welcoming Israel with arms wide open that they're gonna be rid of Hezbollah. Who the hell gave you the right to say whether those people are terrorists or protectors of the last remaining ruins of something we had once, that thing we so took for granted, that thing we named pride.

- And of course... as always... comes those who'd follow America anywhere, blindfolded. Some of which went straight after the Qana bombing and the murder of 37 children and asked Arabs how would they feel if Hezbollah dropped a bomb on Israel, killing 37 Israeli children instead. The nerves on that blogger, not man... just blogger... he made all Arabs look undeserving and made it all seem justified. If I killed your son, blogger, how would you feel when you see mine a day after I kill yours? See that word? FEEL. Did Hezbollah go straight after that, target a school full of children and bomb it down? No they didn't... So shut the fuck up and spare us from your pro-fuck bullshit. What you're doing could only be defined as mind terrorism. And no... blogging ain't just about personal opinion, it's about a lot more than just that. Don't infect people with your garbage... they invented trashcans for that.

On the opposing side, an Israeli public opinion survey about actions to be made after the Qana massacre showed the following results:

9% demanded ceasefire and civil negotiation.

29% figured that a temporary ceasefire of 48 hours is a feasible option on many levels.

61% stated that the forces shouldn't stop and that they should proceed with their attacks, land and air.

Notice anything?

No excuses!!

Grrr... I don't think I can write all the rest. I'm too pissed right now. I can only pray for another 1967 war on Egypt so people can wake the fuck up again from their long sleep. For in this sleep of death what dreams may come? In 67, people died, people lost, but somehow, they've also earned their self realization, they believed more in themselves and their purpose and their cause. They had more faith in God... and suddenly all questions were answered. The human mind works in such a tragic pattern. I can only pray for another 67 so people can honestly start seeing things for what they really are. I demand a massacre, a flood, an earthquake, a fucking meteorite... anything that could jumpstart some sense into these people. I demand my 67 and worse. Give me back my dignity. I'm done being humiliated.

and no... you are not excused.

اذا جعلت من نفسك دودة أرض فلا تلم من يدوس عليك

'These excuses how they served me so well
They've kept me safe
They've kept me stoic
They've kept me locked in my own cell'
- Alanis Morissette

i wonder if you would feel better when you got your pride and dignity back.
you might feel like you did something, like you matter...but on the other hand you may feel lonely and empty
...i wonder

With all due respect, explain to me the objective of your comment. Was it a political statement? A humanitarian cry for peace? What was that exactly?

I didn't say I was planning on blowing up planet earth here. Lonely?! Empty?! You gotta be kidding me!!

Well Calamity, I think there are basics that humans should have in order not to feel lonely and empty, without those even if you are surrounded by people, you will just be screwed real bad, you will just be cheap and worthless... Try checking it out, try waiting for the next person to slap you on the face for no reason and accepting it in order not to feel lonely and empty cause even if loneliness is what it takes to be human I would choose to be a dignified human rather than being an animal surrounded by others...

it wasn't a statement, i was just wondering, i never had any similiar expirience and i was just wondering how would it feel. it wasn't political, not humanitarian. i know you what you were talking about. i didn't mean to offend you, i was simply just wondering.
sorry if you thought any other way

yeah i know people have that right, i never said anyone should accept a slap in their face, i respect any choice they make, and i support them fighting back for the only thing they can fight as raven said: dignity and pride. i was just wondering, i didn't say they shouldn't fight, that they should take crap from people, no never, i wouldn't.

I know we're already had a conversation about that, but I just had to throw all of that in here. I so needed to do that.

This is the war of SURVIVAL. It's not just any war... I would so gladly KILL AND KILL AND KILL, if by doing so I'm killing the same people who've murdered those hundreds of unarmed men, women... and 37 children? In one fucking blast. There's nothing worse believe me... than the feeling of humiliation... and this is a feeling that i pray you never have to go thru. The feeling that your government is basically making a sitting duck out of you and your country, making a mockery out of you, making you belive that you might as well be as low as earth itself. To loose your own respect... the respect of other nations and cultures... where everybody sees you as a terrorist and a person who's just not worth surviving and sharing the earth and having their own pieces of land that they can call home... when you start fearing speaking up when someone asks you for your name... Where the name Mohamed isn't safe anymore and John seems to be the only survival tool out there... when the moment you say your name people start pointing fingers at you or giving them to you... that's when you know you've hit rock bottom.. and there's nothing more humiliating than that. The whole world is watching.. doing nothing about it.. the US didn't convict Israel for anything... neither did the whole world.. the western civilizations.. they don't show Lebanese massacres on their TVS fearing that if their people saw all that they'd feel sorry and sympathetic to the Arab nations and that is something they can not risk.. They don't wanna risk making a fuss with the US...
We don't want other countries in Europe or wherever to fight our battles.
We just want somebody else out there to say to the UN and the USA... YEAH... this is so wrong.. those Arabs have a point.
but nobody does that... not even us.
it's as if they all want us OUT of the picture..
off of this planet..

Now when all that... happens... would you be surprised if a guy who's pissed at the world grew up to be a terrorist? Grew up to go and blow a building in the US?
They've created that beast... they've enraged him into doing that... I'm not saying that doing so would be right, but I'm also finding it so hard to say that doing so is wrong.

Somehow everything makes sense to me. I have grown so much in the past couple weeks. I must be dying..

well, at least I am no longer a kid that I know.

I think that everybody's main problem is that not only do they want to help,they need to help but don't know how. You donate money and the next day you watch the news and realize that your X amount of dollars didn't stop the war!
It's sad and disheartening...i've said it before but really, what else can be done? What can you possibly do when you feel like you and your entire nation with everything it represents are targets and that it only keeps getting worse. We thought 911 was bad...we thought making a movie about nuking muslims was bad...we've all decided not to watch the movie, not to drink coke or eat big macs and in the mean time they were laughing their asses off at our naive selves.

Quite frankly, and in my very humble opinion the only way we'll regain some respect (not from the world, that's been long lost) but selfrespect is if we ALL went down- together. Only then will we wake the hell up and start to FOCUS and live like we were meant to live it.

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