• When your boss don't know shit and surprisingly make a habit of making the same mistakes over and over again and arguing on the grounds that he knows better and that 'this' makes more sense.
• When your career is the center of world hypocrisy. When you're good at it.
• When your girl contacts are all inapplicable or taken, thus eliminating potential relationships that might have led to marriage... a step that I feel I'm about to take any minute now considering the state I am in :D
• When your best friend's currently unavailable.
• When you stop going out with your other friends for three months then arrange for a night out then question yourself how on earth have you been friends with those people. They're just stereotypical. All they speak is hype. They joke about Lebanon. They joke about Israel. They need their asses whipped. They basically don't give a shit. They're what I would comfortably refer to now as assholes. All of them... no exceptions.
• When you start to fear that you're the asshole. That you should have given up a looong time ago.
• When you seek sympathy for the first time ever, when you seek love... surprising yourself... and probably surprising those who've known you for ever.
• When you feel like flying. When you feel like an airplane. When you crash.
• When you start to question your decisions, your beliefs, your ethics, your motives, your strength. When you feel like a fraud.
• When you demand answers for questions you don't even understand.
• When you're confused about whether you've made your father proud or whether you've succeeded in becoming the embarrassment of the family.
• When you feel that you know more than what a person your age should.
• When you feel that you know shit.
• When you worry about speaking up your mind in fear of making people whom you love look stupid. When you worry about looking stupid 24/7. When you worry period.
• When you feel like you're new to this country all over again. When you're considering going to see a movie by yourself, but you fear that people who know you from work would see you there, point fingers, and laugh.
• When you start missing the past... A past you've hated then, a past that you fancy today.
• When you feel better writing, sharing, confessing your every shitty little being.
• When you fear everything.
• When people look up to you.
• When you realize that you're only a lie that you've bought gladly.
• When you're prepared to give away your life savings... for a hug that would last forever.

Is that enough?
I think it's over
See, everything has changed
And all this hatred may just make me strong enough
To walk away

They may chase me to the ends of the earth
But I've got you babe
And they may strip me of the things that I've worked for
But I've had my say

It's so clear to me now
I've enough of these chains
Life is there for the taking
What kind of fool would remain in this cheap gilded cage
I've no memory of truth
But suddenly the audience is so cruel
Oh God, I'm sorry

I think I'm through
I think I'm through...

Posted by Яαgιи Яαvєи on Sunday, August 13, 2006 at 8/13/2006 11:36:00 PM | Permalink