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    Яαgιи Яαvєи
    Cairo, Egypt
    Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.
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Tapping at my chamber door

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Egyptian habits do grow on people

I've recently developed the Egyptian habit of staring. Judge me all you want, but it's the funnest thing I've done in ages. You just have to develop your radars into knowing who and what to stare at. Don't rush into it. It'll take time, but is truly worth the trip. Just think about it. Didn't you ever notice that the prettiest, cutest, sexiest girls out there always hang out with the dumbest looking fucks to ever exist in real life? I mean if I was assigned as the ruler of everything, I would have them guys hanged in public to set an example for beautiful girls out there to know that it just ain't happening sweetheart. On second thought, I'd probably add another line up for the girls. I wouldn't hang them though. Beauty should be appreciated and held on to. I would just torture them a little bit myself probably.

Earlier today... well… last night… I was at Jeoffery's. At the opposite table sat the most beautiful couple girls I've seen in years. I never was the type that gets up and talks to a stranger in a coffee house, I'm just too shy I guess, but I do know the techniques.

  1. If you're alone. Go home and don't bother. You probably already look pathetic to them.
  2. If you're with another guy and there's only one girl, one of you must excuse himself away. As far away as possible. Of course when that happens, you're back to #1, therefore, go home. Beetak beetak. Beyendahoolak yabny. And no… she might be alone, but she doesn't have to go home cos she's still hot. She stays. She must. People need to stare at beautiful thing. It's man's right. It's some men's only possession. Forgive our sickness.
  3. If you're with another guy and there are two of them, there's always the problem of the two of you liking the same girl. In that case, well, then we have:
    1. El ragel be meet set theory. (If you're the less attractive one then you're wishing you knew more ugly people)
    2. May the best man win theory. (and back to the jungle where we belong)
  4. If you're with another guy and there are two of them and you like different girls, then try to grab their attention by indirectly talking to them. Pick up lines don't work anymore, unless you're into being slapped; in that case, also, go home. Your father can do that trick. You can always listen to what they're talking about and start a conversation about something that would eventually lead to the exact same topic. Of course in that case it's usually a problem since most cute girls out there are shallow and stupid… no offence… and I'm definitely not complaining. They have all the right to be stupid.
  5. If you're with a group of guys and there are only two girls out there you can still do #4… and that's what happened at Jeoffery's. (Is it spelled with a J or a G? I've been going there on weekly basis for the past three months and for some reason I've never really cared to look) Annnyways… back on track, I tried to concentrate on what they were talking about, but one of my friends possesses a god given high pitched voice that happens to be extremely loud and was engaged to be married so apparently he's cut off his thing I guess. For some reason he just stopped paying attention to the things that mattered most to US. To cut to the chase, a couple guys walked, kissed them on the cheeks, and joined their table. Grrr… let me begin being more descriptive of how inhumane they looked.

Guy #1: Had hair that looked like someone on the roof spit on his head, was extremely short, skinny as hell, and looked as if they were babysitting him or something. He also looked sleepy enough to be dropped next to any trashcan at the mall.

Guy #2: Well, where do I start? His eyeglasses looked more like binoculars or goggles from a chemistry lab. His skinhead looked as if someone cruised over it with a lawnmower. He had a long scar on the back of his head that looked that the barber shaved his head off with a butcher knife. He was also short, chubby.

And you girls wonder how attractive men start turning gay.


1. Jeoffery's a cool place to hang out at, but that's another post that I'm planning on throwing in after I'm done venting over here.

2. Cute girls should be lined up and punished… but then again they're stupid so what do they know. They're not to be blamed I guess. Stupidity takes over… but don't you girls have EYES, two sockets with a pair of balls that look like boiled eggs with an olive in the middle?

3. I went home, still single, while those two fucks left at 2 am with those two girls. Ain't life a bitch?

I also thought I should comment on the way people are dressed these days, both genders in focus here. Why do I recently feel like I belong to another era? Why do I recently feel like I'm walking into a Sci-Fi studio every time I walk into a mall?

Have I actually grown old? Does anyone out there agree with me on anything at all?

I fully agree with the way people dress bit..more so in Egypt than anywhere else i've been.

It's weird because suddenly, the 80s fashion is back but with a see girls in mini skirts and leggings talking on slick phones..yup..the end is near.

staring again, but youi forgot you're not at the ocean, i guess it works anywhere where the cute girls are.
those tips you listed, i mean if anybody would play by those they would be single forever, so drop some of those.
you're turning gay? :P
about the cute girls, well i can say this stands for most of them or even those you have met, but i'm sure it is the case by some of them: well some of them are so stupid that you can't talk to them, as much as they can be pretty the lack of brain ruins the whole idea for the guys so they have to go for ugly guys that are so desperate of getting a girl that they are not concerned abou her being stupid.
clothing? well here girls (young girls 14-17 yz) dress as some kind of prostitutes, whenever i go out the words "child pornography" come into my mind. it makes me sick.
and the guys. the good ones are taken and they don't go out :P
and the rest of them: the young ones dress like boy bend singers the older ones like gay men. i weould just love to describe all that but i would be too long.

Freudianslip.. was that the 80s fashion?! cos I thought that was just the wardrobe from Striptease being fully utilized. The end is near. Ew3a weshak ba2a.

Calamity.. i personally don't believe in pick up lines or walking over to a girl's table and initiating interaction... why should i be the one doing that? If any, they should be the one coming over to my table. Anyways, I wouldn't bother listing my techniques, but I bet that the people over here would appreciate you telling us what kinda lines work on ya. :P

I know it sounds cheesy but I'm going to say it to shut this matter once and for all; heterosexuality can be listed as one of my qualities.

Cleavage and boybands, the two ultimate adaptation techniques of the new era... i like cleavage, but isn't it funny that men are beginning to enjoy some cleavage of their own out in public nowadays?

in the end.. staring is fun. I quote a dear friend of mine who said 'i can sit and stare at them for hours, creating scenarios'... what can be more fun than that? Blogging?!

baby everything works on me.

the matter was shut before, but i thought i should ask so you can tell to the world how straight you are again. so i guess you have no pink t-shirts in your closet ha?

yea the men love thenselves with the tight jeans and shirts (pink if possible? tucked in, shiny shoes, hair greeesy from all the hair gel and one just waits to see some of their ancle to spot white socks.

scenarios ha? i just may try that it should be interesting. but rather than imagining scenarius i would make them hapen

thats a clear cry for help? u r 25 huh?

whats so bothering about cute girls being with ugly skinny guys? they r probably they look very typical..nothing's too extreme. chill out!!

P.S 1
was that at citystars? did u blog about it in the same day?
asl i was @ sbarro (that italien restaurant infront Jeoffrey's at that day)

P.S 2
life is a virgin..a bitch is too easy.

1. Yes I am 25 actually.
2. I am cool about it. I just needed to vent cos those girls were hot. :P and it is noticable that couples never match anymore which is completely annoying. Whatever happened to hollywood stereotypical hot couples? :P
3. Yeah that was actually at city stars. I stayed there between err.. 8:30 and 1 am I think. (Yes I know that's a long time to spend at a cafe, but it was fun)
4. So basically, life is untouched? pure? Naah.. with all due respect, i totally disagree.

that means i was inches away and had i known it i'd have stole a peek at u!!! ana z3lana!

being a virgin doesn't imply purity at all... it means its worse than a whore except for a tiny part that deceives u into believing that u should worship her.

a peek at me?! do i give the impression that i'm a freak or something :P

and regarding the virgin talk,

'being a virgin doesn't imply purity at all... it means its worse than a whore except for a tiny part that deceives u into believing that u should worship her.' - are we still talking about..err.. what were we talking about? :P

no u don't, i'm just curious to see what u look like.

yea..still talking abt life :)
i just meant that it appears to be what it is not...which kinda makes it alluring.

interesting way to put it. So basically, i should change that to Ain't life a virgin?.. i don't think people would get that.. unless you're willing to work for me for free as a guide and stay here on this blog 24/7 just in case someone needs an explanation.

and don't you dare fall asleep!! :P

well dude i guess they gotta come to us and they gotta pick us up... Way for the confidence mate...

Well, how many single gypo girls exist out there and how many guys? Don't you think we deserve some sort of motivation? We should have them lined up at our doors not the other way around. To propose to a girl, go up to her dad, and literally beg for his approval, to sit there in the middle of the room and have four or five people stare at you and judge your every move and your every shirt button. Thanks but no thanks... it's about time.

keep talking..i'm all ears.

Well let's wait for them to come propose from now on... I love this theory... I have had this fantasy since forever, why do we have to screw our brains out when we are the ones who are needed, we are gonna end up providing security, losing our every ounce of freedom, we are better off without them, so if they want us, they should do some hard work for it... Great work buddy... You are the new Einstein...

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