Well, (My lovely appetizer)
It only takes one layer of sheet.
Basically, it begins with childhood, swings, and football. Words like mommy and play seem to be the most used vocabulary thrown in on that first roll, and words such as manipiolation is a long word that we can't even spell.
Then comes weird, girls, no one gets me, I want, and I hate; Adolescence and dreams of becoming something impossible and hating an imaginary creation of the brain that we make up in order to expand a newly discovered emotion. Play grows into a new meaning by then and the list of things that we want and desire grow beyond what a fool's hand can reach out for.
We grow as we learn how to step on certain things. Facts, sacrifice and reality reach a new level of significance in our dictionary. We start to give up on our dreams in order to accomplish what's humanly possible. By then we start realizing Faith, God, Love, Nobility, and Patriotism. By that age we learn how to believe and what deserves to be believed in and followed.
Another dark layer can be rolled over now in order to cover up the stench of the decomposing soul that we're trying to deny is getting wiser, older, and weaker. We face disease, life, and death. Tragedy becomes more than just a word that sounds catchy. It becomes more difficult to laugh and a mere smile becomes all that we aim for, sacrifice for, and die for. If only we'd have known sooner.
We start asking for mommy to explain to us where we have gone wrong, which turn has led us astray.
And finally, we roll one last sheet of paper with the word will silver plated across. For some reason, I never thought I'd be writing one. I always knew I was invincible and immortal. Oh I've been a fool on so many levels. You start looking at the things that you really have, own, possess and begin the process of choosing heirs to your greatness, but then you realize that those things are few and small. Money at a bank that you write over to a family member, a couple CDs, a DVD collection? You set flames to your random thoughts and dreams and stories that you've written that you thought were so great to take for granted, when you realize that when you die they're worthless. We've played for so long. If only we'd have known sooner.
The final sheet is short and there's not much to say other than give away a couple material elements to family members and sign at the bottom. Words, the vocabulary you've lived your whole life piling up becomes totally worthless when you realize that there's nothing more that you'd like to say to 'them'.
The final sheet is complete and a pretty little knot is tied.
The shroud is set.
Now you start wondering about the vocabulary you'd like to use with Him. You want to say I'm sorry…
…but your mind is a total blank.
Well, my darling will
"You start looking at the things that you really have, own, possess and begin the process of choosing heirs to your greatness, but then you realize that those things are few and small."
when i wrote my will i thought that the person that doesn't know me would find my belongings this way too, but to me they were still grate, no money could buy them they were part of me and the people i would left them too would feel the same way. and this is what life is all about putting value to things that have none. cos' nothing has any value really but the lifes of people and the essential things to keep our bodies alive everything else is a tag.
Posted by
calamity |
9/18/2006 11:58:00 AM
I just wrote this in an attempt to put my feelings into words. I didn't even expect a comment :)
I wrote my will a couple days ago. It was the first time I ever feel so close to the end. The will was about five lines long and, believe it or not, that was the long version. I had nothing to leave behind.
Nothing really matters.
Posted by
Яαgιи Яαvєи |
9/18/2006 03:55:00 PM
Eeverything gets washed away, brushed aside and the world moves on.
Posted by
Jannah |
9/18/2006 04:18:00 PM
you know i always make a comment ;)
what made you feel this way?
come on sure you have a lot of things that would mean the world to somebody: cd's, dvd's, photos, fav. clothes, car and finally your PC :P
things like that mean more than anything of a greAat "value".
would it make a difference to you if you had things of great value to leave behind? what's the use? you would leave them behind anyway
Posted by
calamity |
9/18/2006 05:10:00 PM
This is the most beautiful post I have ever seen without exageration! The words just transend differences between all people because we are all the same in the end.
The music is particularly appropriate too and really added something- I felt like I was in a french movie.
Who is the artist?
Posted by
Anonymous |
9/18/2006 06:30:00 PM