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    Яαgιи Яαvєи
    Cairo, Egypt
    Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention.
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Tapping at my chamber door




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Hook, line, and sink her

It's hopeless really. They're never satisfied, never pleased. We spend half of our lives thinking of ways to make them happy, to make them want to be with us, to make them like us just a little more. We've made hamsters of ourselves, running inside our self-created wheel.

Women!!

They're always the victim; they make us feel that way. No matter what shit they pull they'd always end up making you feel guilty. They use your arguments and secrets that you've only told them in order to "share" against you. When shit goes down they start pointing their finger at you in a way that makes you feel as low as a person who's just run over a pathetic and innocent squirrel. That's when you begin your apology sequence. You use words like apologize and sorry and forgive and regret and guilt, until thesaurus runs out of words that would define how sorry you are… even though you did nothing to be sorry for in the first place.

They're never pleased; you're either too jealous or not jealous at all, over caring or less caring. They send all kinds of hidden messages that can never be decoded unless you're seriously drunk, in which case you'd probably forget about it in the morning, or if you're really, really single. In the latter case, of course, you wouldn't really give a fuck. All you'd want is to get laid.

'Should I pick up her check?'

The restaurant bill question that remains not fully answered. If you ask me I'd say every beast pays for their own, but, unfortunately, that ain't the case. A girlfriend would only pay for her meal if she wants you to know that she can do without your money, that she doesn't need you in her life. If you ask me, every baby girl should have her own manual attached to her upon labor. Men had more difficulty understanding religion, life, the notion of evolution, and the idea of heaven and hell than in understanding the female brain. The female brain is a dangerous foe to have and a more dangerous ally.

Who made them queens over us? One hour after the other, they claim more "rights"… If genders should be treated equally, then why not let them propose to us, make all the moves, ask us out, pick up the check, walk us home, and all we have to do is put on a little makeup, shave our legs, and ask them if they wanna come in. They think they can control us?! Fuck it all then. I'll just stand up for my kind and self and strike against all of that. Ill remove the leash and declare war… but they knooow that you'll come back to your senses, that you'll come back running when you're feeling cold or hungry for… something; hence, bottomline, they can kick you out anytime they want. You always come back begging, and once you're back, don't think they're just gonna let you in. They're gonna tie you to a tree and hit you with everything they've got. Leave your name behind and claim your newly assigned name of Piñata the donkey. That's when your balls start to fall.

The M word comes next. If you ask me, it's more terrifying than the F word. The wedding ring is a material symbol for a small cuff that you shackle yourself with for all eternity; we're just too blind to notice that, horny enough to ignore it. Marriage comes with all sorts of beautiful self-loathe items, the dowry, the ring, the wedding ceremony. No matter how much you can afford, they always ask you to pay more. She wants a bigger house. She wants a bigger, shinier diamond ring. This diamond is too small for people on planet Saturn to see, she says. She wants Stevie Wonder and Dina el ra22asa/porn star to attend the wedding reception. She wants a big wedding where a lot of people whom she hates would attend just so they'd know she ain't playing. She's married a rich idiot who loves her enough to share his bank account with her and she's better than the rest of them, the never-ending girl-on-girl catfight. Ironically, if she agrees to let go of all that, then come the in-laws who wouldn't really give a fuck about you and your budget. They know their daughter is that precious. They know she's worth more. They know you're gonna bend over and pay. If you ask me, it's just like buying a car… and my worst fear is that, after marriage, you might just find out that the car's been used before, that the engine isn't there in the first place, and all you're left with is a lot of transmission fluid and one stick that doesn't do anything at all.

You should have taken the bus, man.

hm i felt really expsed at some parts
i loved the idea of a wedding ring

the worst fear is that the car has been used before? ok
and if you should taken the bus where all those people ride, that bus would be going to a strip bar? hire a hooker? is this an alternative you can use all your life? maybe it would cost less than having a wife ;)

Well man, I loved this piece. Loved it loved it loved it, I am speechless, you said it all man, I have nothing to add...

No the bus is just a metaphor probably for spending your money on something that would be worth your while. Something that even though it could end up owning you theoretically, but would still be there for you whenever you need it..

something gameless. something crystal clear... and not plain carved fake diamond.

and what would that be?

I think the raven is right, women are all about how big the wedding would be and how huge is the diamond although they wouldn't know a fake diamond from a real one if it hit them in the face...

The funny thing is twenty years after the wedding a woman will not be able to remember the settings all over the wedding and the things that matter would be really the small things, like the groom singing a song for her or the way he would look at her as she walks into whatever place the wedding was held in. Now these are the things that matter and the things that are memorable cause no one remembers the seats or the walls or the table, no one starts determining if they are four legged tables or eight legged freaks....

It is a happy day and a happy day has nothing to do with material, unless the man is aiming at value and the woman at material then I think it is actually stupid of both of them to get married, well that leaves men with no women to marry and that is when we have got to come back and get kicked...

u really wanna know huh?

Well, you belong to the dark side. I'm not gonna let you on to our secret.

and no it is not a MAN...

we'll just all become celibates.

So you both do that on all blogs, is it like a ritual or something?

Hmm.. well, Emperor.. the point you added is true.. but I don't think you should use that with "potential" wives cos they would eventually use that against you by telling you.. NOOO we're going to remember every single detail.. u just pay and i'll deal with it.. or she'd tell you that they invented video/digital camera just for that occasion. or whatever u know.

So bottomline.. it is a happy day.. i know.. but wait until you look at that bank account of yours next morning.. she'd tell you that this day only happens once, but your bank account can always be refilled... well, honey, it's not a drink.. refilling aint easy..

well..

i'm done here... war it is.

We want war... We want war.... We want war... I imagine myself holding the fork and the spoon in city stars and hitting them against the table as I eat chinese and I am crying it out loud We want war... :D

It wasn't war we wanted man, was it? :P

Well, actually since we're both going celibate and all, I don't think it'd be wise to let people in on our secrets and cheers..

so again.. let us march on towards being totally single and lonely.. until "they" come wearing a donkey custome.

Deal man... And yeah it wasn't war we wanted, those are the good old days dude...

u can always declare war n we'll seee who survives last!!!! afterall, it was eve who brought adam down from heaven, she can always send him back!!!
lighten up a bit. women rnt tht scary... or thn again thy might just b...! :)))

Bryan adams?!

Well, of course they are.. you're a living example of how scary a woman can get. :-P

u know what.. i'm gonna dedicate this page for you lol

aaaawwwwwww, ths is so sweet of u!!! at last my deeds r recognised... didnt know i was givin u tht much hard time!!! Women, cant live without thm n wont live without thm ha!


PS: hey wht abt "GRANIE", good enough??? :)))

No no.. i'm living without them right now.. except for the internet which teaches me lessons about why should i keep on avoiding women :p

and well.. GRANNIE's a splitting image of my worst nightmare.. it's like a female version of Chuckie.

cool thn granie it'll b, unless u want me 1 change!!! whtever u want, c am obidient... :)))
n u consider ur self alive in there??? u'd better give it another thout!!!

emperor # 1
well you haven't met me then

singing a song? well she'll remember it if iit would be bad singing, women remember things like that and then they rub it in your face

well, i am alive.. thanks for asking just before you mail me anthrax.

:P

raven #1
you and celibate, well you're getting close to it with waiting and not getting married
but i don't think you can hold it any longer

emperor # 2

yes we are weird
and ask the raven for the whole truth about us commenting, there is more
;)

emperor #3

maybe you should be more smooth with flirting at city stars maybe you wouldn't want the war with w then, you would want sth else

'raven #1
you and celibate, well you're getting close to it with waiting and not getting married
but i don't think you can hold it any longer'

Yeah well.. u women are just envious... and I can't believe that's the best comment you could come up with :-P

naaaaaaaa, i wouldnt do tht 2 ya raven! im enjoyin seein u torture wayyyyyy more... besides wht would b more lovely thn seein the old 60 year old raven all alone n dyin in his room!!! unless ur intendin on marryin a WOMAN ????

cuz tht way u'll just die young....

anonymus
you rule you're right i think guys here are avare of the power we have upon them this is why tey have to utter their repressed manhood. they can't stand women power, they need a place to utter that, it's better this way then to go to some hooker

internet teaches you why you should avoid women? well i think you wanted to say i teach you that you were just too polite
you're such a honey raven
didn't want to hurt me
guess what i can live with it
;)

Oh grannie what else would I be marrying? You? :-P

Ouch. lol

well, when i'm 60 and single u women would all probably be divorced.. so i'm thinking.. naaah.. i'll just keep my wedding ring/ceremony/reception/every little shity money grabbing thing money in my bank account..

so basically at least i'll be 60 and wealthier..

we are all whores to you rigth raven
i mean we can't do celibat
wtf
no wonder you're not married yet

yeah.. honey is the name i'd prefer..
but i guess your hidden nickname would be Pinata huh. :P

hm i would say 60 and virgin

tht must b the man at central park talkin!!!! bt still if ur in 2 such a dull borin lifestyle thn have it ur way, come 2 think of it it is a 60 year old way of livin so hooray ur already there raven!!! ;p

why does everybody want me to get married? Does it show that I need marriage?!

Well, i'll just sit there and watch you all fight against all that shit i threw in your faces.

Hmm.. women can really get pissed huh

What can I say? This exactly what women do.. they play tricks with men's mind just to hook them up..

WELL, I'M NOT FALLING FOR THAT MISSIE.. orrr Grannie..

So you can throw this all out the window cos my life is cooool :P lol

it shows you needsth else that you refuse to get it any other way then by marriage

60 n virgin??? ewwwwww, god 4bid... at least lose ur virginity man!!!

we all boring lifestyles for spending too much time on this comment page, you too
we areall 60-year-olds

was that a proposal? :p

oh well keep on hidin in ur room thn, im sure women wont b able 2 hurt u in there rt!!!
the only 1 seems 2 b fightin here is U, fightin 2 survive tht is!!!
;p

Naah.. they always come back to nag me.. isn't that what you're doing? :P

Women feel intimidated at the thought that they can't have me..

well, what can i do... irresistable :P

oh no im a young lively graniee ;p
u know wht mayb i just have 2 take a look at the mirror first ;pp

hm nag, it's naging now when you don't have any real arguments anymore

yeah sure intiminated, just give them my adress and i'll tell them how they can have you, i mean i'll tell them the secret word that not even you can resist: NAKED

is tht wht ur psychiatrist keeps on tellin u? cuz man he's doin hell of a job!!!

not that hard to get anymore are you?

is that your new nickname? psychiatrist? really? :P

n no raven, i wont risk my virginity with u!!!

yeah he is building up his confidence, can't you see? man i want that psychiatrist

it would be a real risk
;)
just joking
well someone should give him a sympathy fuck

where is your confidence now?

mmmmmmm raven, so its "NAKED" thn ha!!! bt rnt u aimin a bit low here???

GOD...

well..

u know what?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

sympathy fuck it is.. SHOW ME HOW ITS DONE lol

man raven i can see u strugglin in there now!!!

looow.. hiiigh..

who gives a fuck? care to answer that? :P

well
ok
tomorrow
if you think you can handle it

yes i'm all cornered here.. 1+1=3

:-P

who gives a fuck?
this will be a tough one
we both would want
i don't think we could come to a compromise

well ok

don't make promises you can't keep. :P

check mate

CHECKMATE?!

NO
i think ur the last one who should USE this word Sandy :P

hmm i just may ump you again as i did in vegas
remember?
it's women we can do this
you should add that to your post

ump?! r u sure it isn't spelled with an H? cos i don't think you should kiss and tell you know. :P

well you know what it is
is it hump or dump?
what we did in vegas won't be let out to the world
i'm not kissing and tellin see?
so let's just keep it a little special secret of our own

Hmm.. yeah alright.. fair enough. Compromise it is.. I guess men can survive around women..

unless this is just another trick to gain control over me again here

it's a trick
it's always a trick with women

you confessed

that's cleared

now we just have to make you feel sorry for what you wrote

or else i'll cry

so i'm guilty now and again huh..

i'm always guilty.. i'm a man so i'm the bastard and you're nice..

but you know what.. u can cry tonight.. but tomorrow we have a sympathy date to conclude which i doubt that there'll be any crying there..

So save up ur laughs

see you are a fast learner
sympathy date? didn't we say sympathy fuck?
dissapponted, i'm crying already, wait till the date-fuck i wonder
well whatever happens i won't kiss and tell
but i'm a woman i jst might
you can't trust women (put this in your post)
yeah i'm nice i'm telling you my comments in advance so yo strike before i do
people should know that

yeah alright.. but i figured that sympathy is a long procedure.. so..

:-P

we might as well be humans and start the whole thing with a date :P

fuck date

but i guess women just rush into the whole thing.. no need for dating first.

I always thought men were the ones who cared less for dates.

short and simple.

well said.. ur very articulate.

we are only humans we are not perfect

short and simple?
we are talking about it longer then we will do it, if we ever do ;)
simple it's only words
no action :D

STOP HAVING CONVERSATIONS IN THE FORM OF COMMENTS PEOPLE GRRRRRRR.


huh...now that i've gotten that out of the system...

You're just having a bad day:P I can write me up a nice piece about how guys think that their shit don't *not a grammatical mistake* stink...but i won't because no gender is perfect.

I was just looking through my cousin's engagment (yes, engagement not wedding) pictures and oh bloody hell!!! i couldn't believe how UNORIGINAL everything was. Makeup, glitter and a circle of people who are *happy* for the couple. Dude, you need to find somebody who'll REJECT the notion of even wanting to have a wedding in a hotel...or having a big wedding, period. It's become so commercial and fake, it's disgusting.

Bleh i lost my train of thought...i'll write more when i remember.

I DO DON'T I.. (looks like a mirror that shows good vs evil doesn't it)

Freudianslip.. thank you.

nah this can't be the end of commenting
or should it be?
if so then raven please post sth new it's an addiction i need to comment
don't deny me this, give the trip, i'm shaking here
;)

Now there's freudianslip someone who doesn't seem to have a huge need for the big diamond or the expensive wedding, good going....

And well guys I love the conversations it brings people together, probably more than anything else would do so keep doing these conversations within the comments... Let us have fun freudianslip....

yeah they bring people tgether like we finnally got to talk today, thanks to the comment page the emperor has come to visit his people and even talk to one of them.
i'm at your service sire

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